It has been a while, friends. I’ve been wanting to write and keep finding excuses not to. For example, why write when I can stream haunting shows to watch? I mean, it’s October after all. Plus, there are so many chores to do around the house. Or my personal favorite: “But I’m wallowing in self-pity!” However, I was reminded today by my sweet Nana that writing is good for me. Better than a lot of things I try to do for myself. Had I been paying attention, I would have received that message from most people in my life. My dear friend Mickaela and I have been passing a journal back and forth since last year. That journal should have far more in it than it does, but I have been dropping the ball. I haven’t contributed anything for months. It’s literally getting dusty on a shelf. That journal is supposed to exercise my creative mind and help me to stay on track whenever I feel that I’m losing my footing. In fact, when I really think about the messages I’ve been getting, almost all of the important people in my life have been asking me to tap in to my creative self again.
The thing is, it’s kinda hard out here for a pimp previously middle-income lady. I have been surprised to learn that I associate a lot of my own value with how many hours I’m employed somewhere. I have put a lot of pressure on myself to find full-time employment and benefits, and have even been all sortsa nostalgic about the times in the past that I worked 50+ hours a week. What I need to remember is that when I was that busy caring for clients and making sure supervisors were happy, I ended up paying for it with my own health and well-being. I sacrificed time with friends and family for a job. I made choices that benefitted an agency, rather than those that would benefit me. And the real kicker is, I was TOTALLY replaceable. What’s not replaceable is this time right now. The free time. The slower pace of things. I’m really able, maybe for the first time in my life, to explore my creative interests and to really devote time to family and friends. So, that’s the plan.
My goals are as follows:
– Send all of the letters that I have been putting off sending.
– Finish the jumper for sweet baby Olive (more on Olive later).
– Call my friends.
– Send the journal to Mickaela, with some new entries.
– Finally, blog it up.
How’s that for self-reflection?
An ErinBird 