Weak.

In January, I resolved to face my fears. Six months later, I’m recognizing just how important that resolution is.

Though I’ve always joked that my greatest fear is success, I’m most afraid of weakness. Or appearing weak. While previously I would argue that staying strong through any challenge made me a better person, I now clearly see how it only enabled me to bury my problems.

Right now, I’m weak. And I’m not denying it. Facing my true fear has allowed me to deal with issues I’ve never dealt with. I’m facing old hurts and working on healing them little by little. I’m learning that my true friends don’t need me to be strong all of the time, they just need me to be me (thanks, you dudes). Facing fear is still scary. Admitting weakness is the most challenging thing I’ve allowed myself to do. It is also the most brave.

I have no idea what I will be like after I finish this hard work. I do know that being weak is the only way I will ever gain true strength, and if nothing else, that’s a real deep thought. And that’s something.